On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" Okay," said God, "You asked for it."So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. For the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.Life has now been explained to you.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch!This one is compliments of chuckMinnesota Phone CompanyThere was a Minnesota phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,. The woman wisely backed up, choosing not to antagonize it further.Lisa went to the bleeding zombie, whom she named “Josh” after an old infatuation, extracted her medical kit and bandaged his hands, mopping up the blood and stemming the blood loss. She was conflicted about the animal, afraid it would turn having drawn zombie blood. She finally decided that, rarely encountering any undead animals, they were largely immune. After all, it seemed her zombie friends already knew the best response to these encounters. If the wolverine was likely to become an undead, they wouldn’t turn their backs on it—not knowing how it would respond. Instead they backed away and tried to placate it, demonstrating it had won the encounter with an obvious submissive display indicating they wouldn’t attack again. It demonstrated they expected it to continue responding rationally—for a wild animal.Once she bandaged Josh’s wounds, calming him with a child’s song, they moved away, deciding hunting in the woods.
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