Bye.’”Also now, Susan had to fight with tears. There were some comments from members:“Hey Susan, you are not ugly.”“Susan, I love your small body.”But Susan just shook her head.“No I am not pretty. I have no tits, I have no hips, I am not a woman.”Tears welled up in her eyes.Here, the moderator chirped in.“Susan, we are all different. Some are tall like Jim, some are small like you. Some woman are well endowed, like Julie, and some are cute like you. Just continue. Do not blame yourself, blame that asshole of a boyfriend. And you other guys, just let her talk, okay?”Susan nodded.“But that had hurt so much, I did not want to have any other boyfriend anymore.Whenever I wanted I did it myself.Then I found that dildo in moms drawer.And I started to use it in the afternoons when I was alone at home.Mom and big b*o were working during the day.I downloaded some porn from the internet and I saw it on our big living room flat screen.And I would do the dildo until I came.Then, one day, as I. What ever I was now, I was invisible and inaudible to the world I knew. I really was dead.By the time of my wake I had still not fully accepted the idea of being dead. The funeral home sent a car for mom and dad. I really didn't like the thought of being on display, but I was curious to see what they had done with me.A crowd had already gathered when we arrived. I followed my parents into the home, passing through the crowd unnoticed. The room where I lay was filled with flowers. My casket lay on a low table. It was glowing shining white with gold handles and trim. The lid was open.I hesitated once again. I knew that what I would see would only add to the weight of a reality I did not yet want to accept. I also knew I had to look. Slowly, I stepped up to the casket.I gazed at the dream-like scene before me. The other me, the me that lay in the casket, was dressed as for her wedding. Mom had promised me her bridal gown for my wedding. Instead, she had given it to me for my burial. A.
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