Shalini called me multiple times for the next day, I switched off my mobile, I don’t want to answer her call, on that day night she came to my house. She sat next to me in the couch, I lay on her lap, she didn’t say anything, just simply sitting, then she called her husband and said that I am not feeling well, and she wont make it to her home tonight. I was feeling happy. She told me she bought Smirnoff for me, she really wants to drink. I said we will have drink in the bedroom, if grandma knows I don’t know what she will do.We moved to the bedroom and started to drink. We were sitting on the the bed which is on the floor, I like to be with her on the floor, my grandma knocked the door and asked me if I need anything, I said that shalini is going to stay, so no need to worry about me. She said okay and went to sleep.Now me and shalini are in my bedroom complete silent. I asked shalini does she needs anything she haven’t replied.Me: Shalini please talk to me you want. I came from a world in which adults were considered to be right strictly because of their age. Young people did what they were told; their mission was to be seen and not heard.Suzanne never bought into that. She and I would get into the worst fights, yelling and screaming and slamming doors when it was over. There were many times I had the impulse to throttle her or to pick up something and throw it against the wall but I never indulged those impulses. I loved my little girl too much to do anything physical to harm her. But both of us learned that well chosen words worked just as well or better than a fist or a belt. Sometimes the two of us avoided each other for days, even weeks after one of these battles of wits was supposedly over.I look back on it and they were for the stupidest things. A school outfit I deemed inappropriate. Staying out later than allowed, not coming straight home from school. Sometimes it felt like she was goading me on purpose. One thing I learned while she was.
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