I knew she loved me, she wanted me, and I knew I was scared of losing my dearest friend. And I confessed to her, too, all of that and how I just didn't know where to go with all of these emotions. She was so kind and gentle with me and listened and held me and let me sleep a deep, long, resting sleep. It didn't seem to matter that we were naked; it just made me feel closer.And now it was two nights later and I'd decided what to do."Holly?" I asked, and she looked up from her rummaging through her purse. "What would you like for Christmas?"She gave me a small smile, started to say something, and then laughed. "Oh, I don't know. You know me, anything will do. I'm surprised you haven't found something already."I kept shaving my legs, almost finished with them now. I stood up and rinsed off, feeling Holly's eyes roaming over me.I'm such a tease."Oh, I've thought of a few things," I said casually, as I braced one foot on the seat, slightly turned from her, and began to apply shaving cream. All the places I have been, all the women I have seen, I have not met her equal. Something in my mind screamed at me, but I was bemused by the motion of her eyes beneath her lids, the shape her mouth made, as if she would kiss me even while she slept. I swatted the thought away again, irritated. I was going to go mad, or die. The idea finally fought its way through to my conscious mind, and I felt every hair on my body stand suddenly on end. I had a moment of perfect, clear lucidity that resembled coming up for air and quickly closed my eyes, trying to lower myself into the Heart of Stone, a state of consciousnesses where emotions do not cloud the mind. It didnt come. For the first time in my life, that cool taciturn state escaped me. Behind my eyes, Felurian distracted me. The sweet breath. The soft breast. The urgent half-despairing sighs that slipped through hungry, petal-tender lips…. Stone. I kept my eyes closed and wrapped the calm rationality of Heart of Stone around me like a.
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