I still think I was right about that part. But I’m sorry for thinking your feelings were unjustified.Leah cleared that up for me. That’s for sure.But just like you told me once, my feelings aren’t necessarily rational but it doesn’t change them.I feel betrayed by my sister. But I also feel betrayed by my parents for not stopping her. And sadly, my love, I feel betrayed by you too for not protecting me.But I know these thoughts aren’t rational so I’m going away for a while to fix things. I need to be able to close my eyes without seeing that day. I need to be able to see you without reliving the last time you held me in your arms.I want you to know that I’m not deserting you. I swear I’m not. I don’t know when but someday I’ll find you, if only to give you a better explanation. As soon as I can be the person that I need to be for me and the person I need to be for you.I hope you’ll give me time to find what I need and I hope you’ll respect my need for privacy. It’s not that I don’t. He seemed to delight in seeing her naked, a fact he remarked upon at every opportunity, and she was never allowed to wear attire besides the mask and two pair of silver shackles he’d had custom fitted. “Are you gay, Comte D’Artagan?” she’d queried once after listening to him play upon the harpsichord for her. “Of course, pet! How could I not be with such delightful company at my side?” “I mean, do you… prefer… men?” “Ah, am I a homosexual.” He paused for a long moment, as if mulling over the idea, before answering her. “You wonder why I have not fucked you, pet.” She nodded, her head turning slowly, focusing on the sound of his boots as he circled her hanging cage. “Perhaps I await the right time. I am not, whatever else you might think of me, in the habit of raping young maidens, even ones as beautiful and available as you. If I asked you to make love to me, what would you answer?” It was her turn to pause, her thoughts faraway, distant words, not forgotten, but certainly.
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