“No, I’m sorry - I lied about that part.”“Wait, what did I win then?”The guard chimed back in - “Dude, you’re going up on stage. You’re.. basically going to get a lap dance from Katy.” My face went completely red. I froze.“No. no. I’m good.”That dad next to me who had been eavesdropping butted in.“What are you crazy? I’ll take his spot!” “Is it your birthday, sir?” The guard asked.“Well, no.” he responded.My date punched my shoulder lightly. “Come on, you have to!” The guard, “Bro there’s like thousands of dudes who’d like to be in you position right now.” The Birthday song started playing and Katy’s voice came from the darkness… “is it anyone’s Birthday today?” she asked in a sultry voice.“Do it!” My date shouted, and the rest of the crowd around me started to join in on the chant until I broke…“Ok! Ok!” I caved. “I’ll do it.” They cheered except for the dad next to me… “bastard…” he muttered. I chugged the rest of my beer and turned my attention to the stage… Katy was strutting. "Oh, sorry, Major. It's just that I have twelve years in and was planning on reenlisting next month and this little fuck up here is probably not going to turn out for my ... how would you put it? I guess you could say 'my Army career opportunities' might have to suddenly be reevaluated in light of this new intelligence having to be factored into the situation, shall we say?" Ah, yes, quite." The Englishman glances over to the American. "Well, then I guess the first thing that we'll need to do is to insert you back inside the military compound. I don't expect you had to show your pass at the gate when you drove off in this machine?" I wasn't driving! Honest sir! I had swapped duty assignments yesterday so this buddy of mine could do the wife and family bit, you know? After I got relieved, we had a little card game going and with a bottle or two, I just climbed up into the track and bedded down, as I was way too drunk to drive and the MP's are hell on wheels about drunks driving around.
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