My dick was ready and I slid into that messy cunt and she kept her eyes closed and her hips moving until I got her off this time. Then her eyes opened and she kissed me.As I put myself back together the words of that Simon and Garfunkel song popped into my head. In “Cecilia” there are the lines –“I got up to wash my faceWhen I come back to bed someone’s taken my place”They kept running through my head as we drove to her place and again when I woke up next to her in the dawn. After we fucked I fumbled with my phone and played her the song. She smiled and said she didn’t know there was a song with her name. When I looked surprised she added, “That’s my given name but I always use my nickname cause it’s cooler. I know why you played that.”“You do?”“I realized it wasn’t you when he got all the way in. I didn’t want to make a scene so I let him keep going. It felt good cause I hadn’t gotten off yet. I figured you’d see and the way you fucked me afterwards proved that.”“Damn!” was all I. Still, I should have noticed that she wasn't acting her old self."I don't want to hear your excuses. It just happened. Bullshit. Maybe, if you had come to me, we could have prevented it."Who knows if that was true or not? Would I have listened to her? Really listened to her concerns and taken them seriously? I was so busy then, and frankly have never been a great listener. If she had come to me right away, would I have gotten us in to see a professional? Given the way I am, or was, almost certainly not. I would have given her lip-service reassurance, I suppose. Tried to explain away her concerns: we're going through a change; new house, new baby, new city new business for me, and new career as a mommy for you. Still, she didn't let me in until it was too late by far.I didn't want to listen to her reasons.I know she had to have felt lonely, vulnerable, alone. Still, it was no excuse; she should have talked to me, rather than kept it inside like that. I never would have expected her to.
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