Even when he was home for a week or more, he still just was too tired. Gina figured that he had at least one girlfriend and probably more, so she was wanting a little attention of her own. She emailed me that she would leave home Monday morning and be at my house about ten, maybe eleven. And, she had one requirement, that we both be naked when we first met and saw each other. That I was to leave the front door unlocked and that she would come in and disrobe in the living room and come back to my bedroom where I was to wait for her, also naked. I did ask her why a young woman like her would be interested in a somewhat older man and she emailed me back that too many younger guys were just interested in a hole to cum into and that earlier in her life, she had found that older men were much more loving and that they enjoyed pleasing a younger woman. So, I laid there, semi-hard, not knowing exactly what to expect but hoping for what I was wanting, when, about ten-twenty, I heard the front. This was so complicated. My life was hard to explain to people. I was sorry for some of the choices I’ve made vis a vis how they hurt people I cared about. But I was not going to issue hollow apologies about how I lived my life.I remembered a night at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco with Rachel. We had just finished a wonderful dinner, a glorious bottle of Chateau Latour. In this fantastic suite, looking out over the city, I held her in my arms, her shuddering as somehow we managed to pleasure each other at almost the same time. Her smile, her lop-sided crooked-toothed Cheshire grin, beaming afterwards.“I figured out what dey mean by paradise, okay, or what? Its yous and me and our adventures togethuh. Yuh know what I’m sayin’?” Then she bent down and kissed me, and I was in heaven. God Rachel, I miss you.If I had stayed with Jenny, that wouldn’t have happened. Rachel and I would never have gone beyond that fun little trip in Toronto. How can I regret meeting my soulmate?We went.
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