"Good! You're finally awake!" You walk into the room holding a tray of food."What is going on???? Why did you tie me down???" The panic in my voice is thick as I continue to pull on the cuffs.You let out a sigh as you set down the tray. "Well, short answer sweetheart: because frankly I can't keep drugging you constantly." OK then stop!! God dammit what the fuck is going on!? Please just let me go!!!" My frustration and confusion boil over and I begin sobbing as my attempts to break free grow weaker and weaker."Let's eat breakfast and I'll explain everythi-" I'm not fucking hungry!!!" My outburst is met with a backhand across my face. I lay there stunned. You've never hit me before.You silently pull up a chair next to me and sit. "All I have is cereal and toast right now. Which do you prefer?"I refuse to even look at you.Annoyed, you put down the spoon you're holding. "Ok. Fine. Well sweetie, like I said, I can't keep constantly drugging you, but I have to make sure you will obey me. I wonder if Grace has a flashlight in that grocery cart of hers. O-h-h, I moan, and flop back onto the bed and pull the covers up. Shutting my eyes tight again and trying to purge my mind of all thoughts. It had worked before, it’s going to have to work again. Does Grace have anything warm enough and waterproof to wear tonight? ‘Oh, it’s no use,’ I yell to the empty apartment. ‘OK, just bring it on.’ With that permission, the thoughts of Grace flood into my mind. What was she wearing on her feet when I last saw her. Would I have become involved at all if I hadn’t substituted for Brenda at the church soup kitchen Thanksgiving Day and Grace had actually spoken to me as I filled her plate, trying my best not to make eye contact, knowing then that I’d seen her before and unwillingly exchanged smiles. She talked to me, she talked directly to me. Would she have dared do that if I hadn’t been surprised into making that first eye contact and being tricked into returning that first shy smile?.
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