The shock slowly wore off and by the time I was showing I had made peace with the fact I was pregnant and the father was, well, a ghost. I made a copy of the only photo I found of Bernard Ryan and all the information I found locked in a box in my closet for that talk I know I’ll be having in a few years.In mid June I gave birth to a little girl, Bernice Ryanne, and was surprised she was warm. I expected her to be pale and cold like her father, but she was a pink, healthy little girl with dark hair and vibrant green eyes. She and I settled into our routine and before I knew it she was four months old and Halloween was approaching.I dressed her up like the little gift she was and we handed out candy to the kids Halloween night, but when the night darkened I thought about Bernie. I made a little wish to see him again as I put Bernice in her crib. I poured a glass of wine, changed into a nightie and wrapped a blanket around me and waited. I didn’t wait long before hearing a light tap at. ”“You got piercings coming out of twenty different holes in your body, and you got tattoos covering probably half of you. How did you bag a rich guy?”He expected her to punch him. He’d have deserved it too. Bitter, just so damn fucking bitter whenever the topic came to money, and women, and it went full on acidic when it was the two combined. He didn’t need a fucking therapist to tell him that. Part of the reason he told Ganders he didn’t want to the job was cause he knew what would happen if conversations ever steered in this direction. Didn’t know how to shut the fuck up.But crocodile face laughed, and winked her snake eye at him. “He bagged me, you fucker. Now hurry up.”Bagged her. Rich guy bagged the punk rocker girl. Sounded like something out of a trash romance novel, and considering the smile on her face, it may very well have been a happily ever after ending that would have made Eric puke. But circumstances being what they were, a giant shit show of blood and insanity, he let.
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