The women who enter the red door can’t open his door, most don’t even know he exists.The handlers are almost always in their informal uniform, jeans and a western style shirt with the Bar’s logo on the left breast, or shorts and a polo shirt, also embroidered. Us dog girls are naked more often that not, though we do get a uniform, leather skirt and polo shirt, we’re supposed to wear that whilst training ... mostly we do. The head trainer is actually a lot cooler than he appears, his approach is kind of, “not broke, don’t fix it”, so he leaves us to train the alpha dogs pretty much as we want, so long as the basic commands are taught and reinforced, and of course we get the expected results. He also believes a mistake by the alpha dog is our fault, not the dog’s.Although Sue and I plan to alternate which dog gets trained each day, that isn’t exactly how it works out, all of the alpha dogs alternate time in the rooms, so as to give the women who enter a choice, unless they book a dog. She confronted me, demanding to know what the problem was. All I could do was look at her and say, ‘I hurt!’ I felt her arms go around me then. I responded in kind without a thought. She whispered to me, ‘I know.’ I could tell from her voice and her grip that she did know. There was nothing I had kept hidden from her. And she hurt as well. Not from loss, but because she knew I couldn’t have her. That wasn’t something she could offer. But my pain caused her to hurt as well. So we clung to each other, as friends do, to ameliorate the ache. That moment seemed to last forever. She was barely an armful, the most wonderful armful I had ever encountered. Her sweet perfume filled my nostrils and I could feel her heart beat against my chest. She was warm, and soft, and strong. She was the part of me I hadn’t known I was missing. I basked, letting her presence fill me. We broke apart then and the hurt was almost gone. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was close. I calmed enough to get on with.
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