" Oh, uh, by the way." Hm?" Solve that other little problem you had when you first came in while you're at it." I'll do that right here, right now. For you." No, no. You can take everything off out there." I'll be right back." Wait. You're going like that?" I don't understand." I want you to drag your tongue on the floor. Both ways. Off you go." Bleah. Here are your flowers. Bleah." Don't be silly. They're your flowers. Roll on them." What?" Well, if it was money, you'd want to roll around on the floor on it like a selfish arrogant gutter bitch, so, this is as good as you got, you worked hard for them, now lay them on the floor, and roll around on them. Or do you need some convincing?" Ow. Well, they were pretty." Mhh hmm. Now bunch them up, give them to me, and lay across my lap. No, no, roll over. Look at me. There. Does that hurt?" Yes!" Which is worse, here, or there? Can't decide? We'll try again." There!" There? There? There? There?" God yes! Uh!" I'm hungry. I think I'll order. I didn't see a lot of my housemates on Saturday, as I was settled in my room sweating over my books and lecture notes by the time they finally got out of bed, but someone had obviously finished the washing up - perhaps because all the mugs in the house were soaking in the bowl in soapy water, they had realised they had to rinse them to be able to have a cuppa! I had a brief word with a couple of the lads as I headed out to work just before twelve, and again during my all-too-brief break in the afternoon. By the time I got back from cleaning up after a busy Saturday night at the pub, the house was dark and quiet.When I came back to the house after my Sunday lunch shift, I found a very glum group slumped in the sitting room. They had gone up to our local for a lunchtime pint, and discovered they were barred. Apparently their drunken raucous chorus of 'Get your tits out for the lads' at closing time the previous evening had upset the barmaid; her boyfriend had not taken it well either,.
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