She went to the kitchen and brought back a cutting board, a sort of flat piece of wood.She put the cutting board under my scrotum (remember my legs were spread wide)Then Phyllis took one of her heels off. Oh, I'd had this game before..."I am a little jealous that you're seeing other women."WHACK! Phyllis stabbed my penis with the board and I screamed.Then Phyllis began rubbing again in quite a loving way..."Sweetie, you know I care about you. I want you to have a good social life. I know you sit at home reading science fiction and playing with your stamp collection...It must be lonely. Especially since you can't jerk off for weeks at a time."This was true. I'd even given up my cable channel and all my porn subscriptions so I'd have more money to see Phyllis. Hell, when Lonni and I went out, we had to go Dutch.Phyllis lifted the spike heel and this time slammed it on my scrotum, which was lying on the cutting board.I screamed again, and burst into tears."P-please, Phyllis, I love you.. Could you tell me what day it is?" Yah. You must have been in one of dem Earther communes back in the hills, hah? It iss de tventythird. Dat iss of April."Only four months? That couldn't be right. He had to have been gone at least six or seven, not even counting the time he'd been out of it back in Her stronghold. Well, at least five and a half, considering the shorter days on Gardhe. Could he have been gone for over a year? No, he'd better not ask what year it was. He could figure that out later, pick up a newspaper or something. "Which way is it to town from here?" Down de road a piece." The farmer waved his arm in a broad arc. "Tventy, thirty mile to Carlisle, de county seat. Dot's a goot liddle town. If you vant to stay to supper, Mamma vill be glad to have somevun to cook for, and I giff you ride to town after." If you're sure it's okay, I would like that very much. Are you and your wife running this whole farm by yourselves?" Yah. Ve can't get help like ve used to, mit effryvun.
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