Watson, I think we’ve already gone too far… and besides, I’m sure I could never do it as good as your wife.”“Lexi, Stacy mom drinks so much now that she and I have no sex life at all any more, that's part of the reason I was down here doing it myself,” he said sadly, trying to prey on my emotions.“Oh Mr. Watson, you poor man,” I said acting sympathetic to his plight, but it still had to be his idea so I said, “But are you sure it’s alright if I practice on you?”“Absolutely Lexi, that way I can make sure you're doing it right for your boyfriend, and it would help me at the same time,” he said, trying to create any logic that would convince me to jerk him off.”Well, I guess it’s okay,” I said, trying to hide the fact that I was dying to hold his hard dick. My mouth watered and my pussy felt like it was having a series of tiny earthquakes as I reached towards his groin, and then I gently wrapped my slender fingers around his stiff shaft and squeezed his throbbing member.“Oh God Lexi…”. "Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.Got caught having a piss in the.
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