She looked at me and smiled and asked if I was okay with it. I told her if it would make her feel good then I was okay with it. I told her she should slide into something sexy and go down and see what happens. She quickly slid into one of her sexy see through nighties. She decided to leave the sheer panties off. She Slipped into a long sheer robe and then asked if I was sure it was okay. I kissed her and told her yes. Turning she headed out the door and quietly went down the stairs to the living room. Sneeking out I position myself at the top of the stairs so i could look down and see the sofa where her brother was. I could see he had the TV on and was streched out on the sofa as she approached. Looking up you could see the suprise in his eyes seeing his sister coming in and sitting on the sofa next to him. She crossed her legs and let the robe slide open enough that he could see all the way up to the top of her legs leaving little doubt that she was bare beneath the robe and nighty.. Myrefusal to develop and express my sexuality for one. But I maintain thatis more to do with being raped than being formerly male. But as for therest, by and large, I feel indistinguishable from any other member of mygender.Isn't there something to be said for 'better the devil you know?'I suspect if I think too much about it, when the time came, I probablywill freeze up.I realise therefore, the key point to commit me to the process of'turning back' is the obvious simple truth.This life is shit now.I've got to get out of it.And I need to do whatever it takes to achieve that.Chapter 14Neither Beth nor Caitlin answered their phone when I rang them nextmorning. This was a disturbing trend of late, generally.It made me think of someone else who'd been suspiciously silent.3 days since my shambolic "A Current Affair" interview, and 2 days sinceI was fired and still no contact with Ally.In fact the last time I'd seen or spoken to her was exactly a week ago,before 'The Footy Show.'Was that.
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