“And - Now - in - the - distance - the sound - of - Police - Sirens,” the BBC announcer announced like he had a twelve inch scaffolding pole up his ass.“Her-Royal-Highnes, has - told - the - RAF - to - stuff - the - plane - and - she - will - drive - the hearse down herself, clear the motorway, she’s coming through.”“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Charles sighed.“It’s what Dad would have done,” Andy reminded them.“It’s four hundred fucking miles what do we do for the next hour and a half?” Camilla asked showing a flair for mathematics.Andy looked at Sarah, Sarah looked at Andy and they rushed hand in hand for the nearest bush surprising several doggers and an ITN News team.“Where’s my fags,” Camilla asked.“Suppose we’ll have to send the the fucking Corgis to Battersea Dogs home,” Charles said gloomily.“Mummy says you should try eBay,” Kate suggested.“My mum says you shouldn’t do nothing for nothing,” Megan suggested.“Er, yes I suppose so,” Kate agreed.“Anyway eBay don’t do live animals, maybe. After finally being shown to my room at around nine in the morning, I showered before relaxing on my bed.As I perused the brochures, a list of clubs and bars were naturally advertised. I then chanced upon the name, Apollo, in the sauna section. What really interested me was the mention that it was; ‘for the mature male.’I played the; ‘should I, shouldn’t I’ game for the next couple of hours building up the courage to visit the sauna. Finally, at around twelve-thirty, I followed the map to the Apollo. It was a wonderful establishment that looked like it had been around since the sixties. It was clean and well looked after, but very old-fashioned.To the left of the entrance, there was a lounge area with a spiral staircase. To the right, there was a shower room with a sauna and steam-room on either side. Further on, there was a small bar area on the right with a locker room to the left. Having undressed and with a towel wrapped around my hips, I continued my tour.I then ascended the.
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