Alcohol wasn’t officially part of the deal, but every apartment was sure to have loads of it. As we were getting ready, I mentioned to my roommate and teammate Jaclyn that my shoulder, which was a gymnastics injury that had bothered me throughout the year, was really hurting. She came back out with a bottle of pills and asked me how many I wanted. ‘How many do I need?,’ I asked. ‘It’s hydrocodone. The more you take, the better you’ll feel. C’mon, it’s party night, live a little,’ she said as she handed me four. I hesitated for a moment, then washed them down with my rum punch, the first drink of the night. The pills started to take their effect as we walked out to the central pavilion in our togas and flip-flops, where a crowd was rapidly growing. We made small talk with a few fellow neighbors for a while, occasionally ducking into someone’s apartment for drink refills or a snack. Between the painkillers and the booze, I felt like I was floating on air. I. Peter said nothing, trembling violently on the couch. The deadly silence stretched out. Finally, Zack turned around. “Have you ever sucked a cock?”Peter nodded awkwardly.“Who?” Zack demanded.Peter flushed brick red. “My brother? Three of his friends?”“Was that a question?” Zack wanted to know. His face muscles bunched spasmodically. Peter shook his head.“I’ll do it if you want me to. I’ll go home, if you want me to do that.” He shrugged, miserable.Indecision twisted Zack’s features. “I do,” he said. “Yeah, I do. I want you to.” His complexion darkened. “Do you?”Peter twisted his hands in his lap. He said, “Yeah. I do. I just can’t believe you might actually let me. I’m scared shitless.”“Me too,” Zack admitted. He shuffled back to the couch. “You sucked three guys?”“Four, including my brother.”“Jesus Christ, Peter.” He ran his hand over his buzz-cut hair. “I didn’t know you were actually gay.” He hesitated. “Are you?”Peter winced. “Do you mean, was it my idea?”Zack nodded uneasily.
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