Ashlee and I drove away. I stopped by Applebee's for lunch with Ashlee and there we talked about what should be done next. We needed an architecture firm to draw up plans to rebuild my house. I didn't know anyone, but Ashlee did. Looks like her family had a friend who was an architect so she called home, talked to her mom for about 20 minutes before she got the phone number. I dialed it and spoke with a lady who recognized my name and was very excited to hear from me. I asked for an appointment with their firm to rebuild my house that was damaged by fire. I gave them the address and said that I was very interested in making it better than what it was before and hoping that they could help me with the project. Well, the lady on the phone said that they could meet with me tomorrow. I confirmed that tomorrow would be fine and then traded contact information. We hung up from each other and I put my phone away."Ash, what did you say about living in Blue Springs?" I am not opposed to it,. .to explain, it's gonna take a story, aloooong story...but not a boring one, I promise! I am a 33-year-old white male from Long Island, New York. I have alwaysbeen overweight, unattractive, short, and very insecure, especially aboutmy looks and desirability to the opposite sex. Girls have never beenattracted to me (and I've always really wanted them to be, always soughtapproval from girls, which may have been part of the problem, since, as Iknow a lot better now, girls generally want to be the ones gettingapproval from guys and they view a guy caring too much about what theythink as sort of wussy). Ever since I was little, I have had thoughtsabout what it would be like to be a girl. I guess because I liked girls somuch - the way they talk, walk, dress, act, everything-I becamefascinated, almost obsessed, with femininity. I started crossdressing a little at home when my parents weren't aroundor, if they were home and I had the "urge," I locked myself in thebathroom to do it. I also.
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