At the lastminute there was a cow calving in the field and our class tutor madeus stay outside until she was delivered. I'm not only stinking, I'msoaking!"I stepped up my speed a little and we soon reached Harriet who hadrearranged her rendezvous on the mobile phone. As she joined us shealso remarked on Wendy's state."Bloody hell! You stink! Don't you wash after all that crap?" I have bloody washed!" snapped Wendy, "The stink just hangs around.Just get me home to a warm bath!"I obeyed orders, (as always) and cursed the rain that made the lastremnants of the rush hour traffic even worse. Eventually we arrivedat our flat and I stored the groceries whilst Wendy took anothershower followed by a scented bath before finally ridding herself ofthe farmyard. We shared some coffee after stashing the groceries andthen we fell to chatting about my 'condition' whilst Wendy continuedbathing in her scented luxury."So you were the one who discovered Rosie's new development?"demanded Harriet."Don't. It, and a broken nose, became my adieu. I turned in my shield and Smith & Wesson; I kept my backup gun, of course.With a bandage across my nose and cotton stuck up my nostrils, along with two black eyes, I knew how opponents of Joe Louis felt after a couple rounds. I'm not a perfect world but I don't shit in the street like the crazies do. I'm just a little bit sarcastic and horny as hell.Now I'm sleuthing, mostly for missing pets and runaway teenagers. It pays the bills, barely. Because my 1937 coupe is paid for, albeit in need of a new set of tires, I was living cheaply in a room off my office. It wasn't what one would call luxury. Up three flight of stairs and down a long-forgotten hallway of vacant offices, it wasn't what one would call, "Putting on the Ritz."I’m an on-again, off-again agnostic, when not in detox. One might say that I am an alcoholic. One might say I am just a fuckin’ drunk. I see myself as somewhere between a Wild Turkey and Four Roses; stuck between jobs,.
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