“So when are you seeing him again,” my nosy neighbor pressed.“I don't know,” I admitted.“What? He's not coming over every night?”“It's not so simple, Carolyn. Maybe he would, but he's kinda mad at me right now.” Her eyebrows went up as she gave me the third degree. Answering her questions and filling in the details, I spilled the whole story. “It was really a wonderful weekend until he started pushing me. I wish he could just be a little more patient with me and not get so mad when it takes me a while to think things through. He isn't calling and I can't call him, so there's nothing I can do but hope he calls. I do, Carolyn. I do hope he calls.”“Well little girl, you better figure out what you want fast. Javon isn't going to wait around on you and there are plenty of other naive young white girls for him to move on to if you don't want to be the one.” I told Carolyn she was supposed to be supporting and encouraging me, not guilting me out.“If I were you, I'd tell him what he wants to. She wanted to prove to herself that she didn’t have to be afraid of everything, she had a rite to be happy, just like everyone else. Conner had shown her that. But, was she still afraid of the consequences that would come with living her life out in the open, was she afraid of the past coming back to haunt her and everyone she loved? Most definitely. For Tessa, it all came down to the moment. What she wanted, right then, with Conner. All that mattered was that second, if she let anything else get in the way she would be lost, she would send Conner away and she would be alone, the way she had forced herself to be alone for years. She wasn’t ready to go back to that. She was almost equally uncertain if she wanted to move forward, but one feeling outweighed the other, and with eyes closed she stepped forward, feeling the cement steps under her bare feet and the sun beating down on her, she took another step, straight into Conner’s arms. Tessa heard the sharp intake of a relieved breath.
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