Because masculinity is so fragile.It’s really like a special little flower, trampled and mushed underneath the smallest high heel shoe, smothered by a frilly pair of panties, or the touch of eyeshadow. Even just the admiration of other masculinity sends some trembling, clutching at their phobias. So many things come to make the defining attributes of manhood, whereas a woman…I should be able to tell myself at this point that I can really call myself that. I feel like I look in the mirror, just not every day. Even naked now, there is so much that I love. Only sometimes, beneath the budded breasts and long almond colored hair, I can only see Jack underneath Jackie, in my chin, or my ears. Even though no one else could notice, I can tell, remembering what it was like.And I can wonder how hard it is for other people. For someone who wasn’t born with wide hips, a small nearly hairless frame, and a soft feminine face. For those who can’t quite make their body reflect what they always saw. On Wednesdays we head to Elaine's.Bryce and Elaine are possibly the wealthiest couple in the city, and the club. Bryce is my husbands boss. Elaine treats us to afternoon appetizers and drinks. When we get to tipsy she sends us home in her chauffered Rolls Royce.Bryce and Elaine live in a gated community and they travel by private jet.One Wednesday Bryce came home while we were gathered at his home gossiping.He came by and said a quick hello and then disappeared. Later we headed towards the door. Elaine was coordinating rides for those girls that had too much. She whispered in my ear. "Jane, could you stick around?"I had no idea what she wanted. After the other guests left she motioned for me to join her. She walked over to an elevator and motioned me inside.I couldn't believe they had an elevator in their house but as I thought about it the house was huge, more of an estate.We walked out onto an upper floor and headed down a hallway. As we walked into their bedroom I was surprised at.
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