That is when I saw the man who would later make me realise I was attracted to men.He was a lifeguard at the water park and he just drew my eyes. He was probably in his mid 30's, about 5ft10, bronzed, muscled and wore a red speedo. I couldn't help but stare at his ample package when I thought I would be staring at the hot women that were everywhere. He chatted to many of them and they all seemed to be attracted to him. I thought I was jealous of him at first, but it turned out I was jealous of the women who caught his attention.I couldn't stop thinking of him all day and was thinking about him falling asleep that night too. I had a very vivid dream that night, probably one of the most vivid dreams I have ever had to this day in fact. I dreamed that I started chatting to him, making it obvious that I wanted to see what was inside his speedos. He took me into a pump room in the water park, loud, dark and hot inside. He locked the door behind him and pushed me down to my knees by my. ‘I love you more than anything Josh. It just took my mom to make me realize that today. I can’t live without you in my life.’ ‘I love you too, Meg, but it’s been a long time, and I am still hurting. You’ve pushed me so far away I don’t know if we can get back to where we were before all this happened.’ He bowed his head in his hands. ‘Is it because of the accident? You think it’s my fault that we lost the baby, don’t you?’ Megan began to take offense instantly. ‘No! Stop saying that! I don’t blame you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just stop it now!’ he yelled at her as his fists clenched in anger. ‘I’m hurting because you wouldn’t let me help you. Not because I blame you for anything. I’m hurting because you pushed me away instead of going through this mess together as a loving couple should.’ He paused to gather his thoughts. Megan released his hand, stood and walked a few steps away from him, ‘Oh God! What have I done to us? Why am I like this? It’s been too long to still be.
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