I was met by the scene of my father, the jester, making punch while regaling a rapt audience about an accident he had last winter, slipping on ice outside our house. He had made a complete fool of himself and was rushed to the hospital with a bruised coccyx, but he was such the master storyteller that everyone was laughing along with him, rather than at him. Finally his eyes settled on me. He made a show of slowly looking me up and down, his eyes glittering, behind the sad face mask. He ducked into the pantry, fumbled about, then leapt out, hands out in a 'ta-da' kinda way, his mask now the smiling one. People clapped, and so did I, although lightly (I was meant to be my mother). He danced his way over to me and hugged me. "I thought you weren't going to make it!" he said. "I said I would, didn't I?" I replied, keeping my voice deliberately husky. Hopefully he would think I was trying to keep in character. "Indeed you did!" he said, hugging me again, his hand for one awkward moment. I figured they had a bus to catch or something, so I sat back down and continued humiliating myself to the operator. All of a suden, I seen a flash out the corner of my eye and looked up to see an iphone being retracted through a missing vent hole! I panicked and hung up, and started getting dressed when I heard a roar of laughter outside! Then all of a sudden, someone knocked on the door and a girl told me I was busted and to open the door. I through my shirt on and pulled up my shorts, and grabbed everything before opening it. There stood all three of them, arms crossed, smirks on their faces and when I went to step out, one of the chubby ones stood in front of me and told me to hold on a minute. Now I thought for sure they'd called the cops, and had debated making a run for it, but since my car was parked only meters away, and me being so fat, there was no way I was getting away from them. I asked them what they wanted, and the chubby one said they wanted to know why I was.
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