My filter was blocked with condoms. Twenty-three, I found out later. Stupidly, I wondered how a bunch of condoms had managed to find their way into my septic system. Then it hit me how.My face must have showed something, because Gus and Mabel quit talking for a minute."I'm sure there's an explanation, Chad. Maybe you've had guests lately? Or maybe, uh, Amy had some friends over when you weren't there?" Really, Mabel? You think I'd have guests over long enough for them to get it on this many times? Or that my seventeen year old daughter is suddenly hosting orgies? No, there is only one explanation here."They spent another forty-five minutes talking me down before they left. I waited until they left, got some thick rubber gardening gloves, and picked the rubbers up carefully, putting them into a triple layered baggie, then into a plastic container, and putting it into the little freezer in the top of my shop fridge.Then I went in to the house to think. Fucking Bitch! A lot of things. This led to the first little difficulties; when the party arrived, the Assistant Manager on duty first insisted on seeing David Ransome's passport, which turned out to be British, and then insisted on going into detail as to how the bills would be paid. David Ransome produced a Royal Bank of Kobekistan Visa card and it was duly debited with two weeks advance rental for the rooms. An hour later the hotel's own bank manager was on the telephone saying that a letter of unlimited credit had been deposited with them, and that he had solid assurances that money could be obtained in minutes if necessary. What had made the bank nervous was that this had come direct from the Irish Foreign Ministry; it seemed the Irish Government was guaranteeing the financial status of this visitor.The Emir's first outing into Dublin was that evening when he climbed into the Rolls and said, "Take me to the Celt, please."Maktum turned and looked at his Master and said, "As the Master pleases, but your servant.
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