Only Penny wantedthose desires. Only she reveled when Nadia let her true self come out.Sure, Penny didn't understand all of Nadia. They still held each otherat arm's length. But Penny understood the most private and exciting partof Nadia. Penny understood it and wanted it. There was no one else inthe world like that."I did," whispered Nadia. She could feel her chest shaking with eachthump of her heart against her rib cage."I miss the look on your face when you worshipped." I miss worshipping," said Nadia. She didn't think about the wordsanymore. She didn't need caution. It was just a phone call. Pennycouldn't get her here. Joanna would never know. It couldn't hurt."You hurt me." I know," said Nadia. "Please forgive me." Why did you run away?" I ... I didn't run away. I rescued Dr. Tuminaro and Joanna. I couldn'tlet you destroy them."Penny was silent for a long moment."Penny?" I'm sorry for that," she said. "I'm not a good person. There is adarkness inside me I don't control." You. "Dad lovesmum very much and would love her not to smoke, but it is something Mumhas to decide herself. If she thinks he knows, she will just throw outthe fags and buy some more when she thinks things have settled down -wasting money they don't have. Dad thinks it is costing them over agrand a year. Dad also doesn't want to embarrass Mum by putting her in asituation where she would be humiliated. He knows she isn't ready tostop smoking and would prefer her to be open with him and smoke openly,that way there was no secrets, no lies. It puts a great strain on theirrelationship, as Dad doesn't trust mum with everything, but till she cantrust him, it is something he just puts up with." Did you know I was lying?" I asked."Not really, but looking back I can see pointers. Just like when I knewthat mum was smoking, I knew when she would sneak off to have a cig. Ihad no idea before then." Helen, how do you feel about Jayne now?" I feel hurt," she admitted. "I'm not really sure about anything.
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