I swallowed heavily and, realising I hadn’t blinked since I turned around, batted my eyelashes a few times. The man winked with a sly smirk, then joined a group near him to exchange pleasantries. I exhaled heavily. Had I been holding my breath the whole time? And more importantly, was he looking… And winking, at me? Who even was he? ‘Clara, dear, so good to see you!’ Here we go again. I turned to face an elderly woman in an overly-sequined shirt. ‘Oh, hello-‘ Damn, what was her name? ‘… Ma’am! Good to see you as well.’ You can never go wrong with polite recognition of authority. The conversation dragged on from here, as usual. Yes, college was going great. No, I didn’t have a boyfriend. Yes, I think I’ve grown, too! But all I could concentrate on was the man whose eyes I could feel burning my skin. He made me feel so… Uneasy. All I could return to him was a few nervous glances, and occasional stunned eye contact. Until finally, with champagne running through my veins, I marched my. . Budgie says “I had to remove my jacket for that one but, I’m a Glasgow Budgie and I’m as hard as nails!”A man walked into a pub with a full grown alligator. Everyone stared.The man said when he had everyones attention - “I will put my organ into the alligators jaws if someone will buy me a drink.Very quickly a free bottle of drink with the top off was thrust into his hand and his bluff was called.Calmly the man unzipped and did as he promised - the alligator snapped its jaws shut with an earth shattering slam.When he had finished his drink the man looked around the room and rapped the alligator smartly over the head with the empty bottle whereby the alligator promptly opened it’s jaws leaving the man intact.“If anyone else will try that I will pay them £1000 cash the man said”No-one moved and there were mutters all round the room.Suddenly a blonde came forward shaking her long hair “I’ll try do it she said ----------- but there’s one condition ------------ you have to promise not to.
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