My mind had not been clear when it happened, but I had been completely selfish, heedless of Fiona’s needs and vulnerability. Even if she knew that I loved her, didn’t she have the right to expect something more from me on the way of reassurance? Aideen had emphasised to me how strongly Fiona could feel about things, and I had given her no comfort, after blithely receiving hers.I had to do better. Fiona had given me her trust, her help, and her love, and though I had failed her in so many ways, all I could do now was trying harder, working at becoming worthy of her. That meant, most of all, being honest with her. I owed her to stop keeping secrets from her, to rely on her kindness and judgement rather than my fears, and to tell her, at last, how much she meant to me.After that time she had made Sylvia admit we were not her equals, and that conversation I had with Aideen about it, I had been trying to work things out in my head. I realised that, much as I wanted to deny it, there were. At first it was very casual, but quickly a sense of sexual tension and suggestion came out. He started moving in closer as we stood there, he started stroking my arms, I tried to talk about my marriage to remind him I was already taken, that didn’t seem to bother him in the least. He touched my wasted and grabbed my hand as he slowly and methodically moved it closer to the bulge in his pants which I pretended not to notice. I could feel the blood flowing, making me flush, my nipples were aroused at the mere thought of him sucking on them, and my wetness seemed to want to ensure I would be ready to take whatever he had to give. I was starting to feel so conflicted, when suddenly the phone rang. I broke away and said excuse me I have to take this. I thought he may leave at that point. It was my husband calling from a state away. I went into the bedroom to take the call, still thinking the neighbor would show himself out. My husband said you sound a little anxious what is going on I.
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