“Peter?““ ... It’s too late, Peter. Why–”“ ... I don’t know. I can’t see it’ll do any good.”“ ... You have? How long?”“ ... I’ll ask John. Ring me in an hour.”John came from the kitchen to where Claire sat in the living room.“I heard,” he said, wiping his hands on a towel. “What do you need to ask me?”“It’s Peter,” she said, realising immediately that John knew that. She smiled and so did he: they were so attuned to each other. “He wants to come over and talk. Apparently his therapist thinks it will help him.”“He’s actually gone to a therapist?”“It seems so, since before Christmas.”“And you think... ?”“I can’t see what good it can do. I think he wants to stop the divorce at all costs, to come and beg me to go back. I can’t and won’t go back to that life. You know that this is the first time in our married life that I have really relaxed? Felt fully alive? I feel free. I never realised how constantly on edge I was in case Peter suspected me of something. Always worried he would be. Cara Ham was a devout Roman Catholic, and the Catholic girl had enoughtrouble coming to terms with the guilt she had when engaged inpremarital sex with a man she loved. It was painstaking for her to cometo terms with biblically knowing a man. Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt onlyenjoyed the pleasure of the bedroom when she gave the man she was withher heart. Even then it was not guilt free. Confession never gave herabsolution, for she knew in her heart that she would end up doing thesin again.It was hard enough finding solace in only committing one sin when givinginto her desires, how could the lady of strong faith do so when the actcombined with another sin? Cara was finding some comfort, for at leastshe still had the desire to be with Sarah's alter ego, James. It wouldbe easy to suppress the desire of the flesh of another woman if she wasin a relationship. Fidelity was important to her. Sharing herself withonly the person she wanted to share the rest of her life with was moreimportant to.
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