”And Jen kind of snorts out a laugh and she says “No. He really didn’t hit you hard. Remember I’m the one who put cream on your bum afterwards so I know he didn’t hurt you. I’m guessing it stung a bit when he was smacking you but after I put the cream on the sting went away pretty quickly. Is that right?”And I say “I guess so.”And Jen says “Dad’s twice your size and pretty strong. If he hit you hard you’d have bruises on your bum that would last for days. He didn’t hit you hard. Just hard enough to sting a bit so that you’d know you’ve been smacked. And he hated even doing that to you.”And I say “Huh” ‘cause I never knew that before. But I still don’t like being smacked even though I know I deserved it for saying the f word and for the other things I got smacked for.And I say “So he didn’t really hurt her?”And Jen says “No. Her bum is probably stinging right now but I’m pretty sure she isn’t hurt at all.”And I think about it and then I say “I’m glad. It wouldn’t be right if he hurt. He saw significance in every woman’s face.A conspiracy, thought he. Yes, it must be some terrible conspiracy, as women have had their clandestine networks even before the beginning of time. Perhaps they were sizing him up. He so badly needed to hold one, right there in the street and break the barrier of wasted time, wasted years spent in seclusion and extreme loneliness. He believed only a woman could lead him to salvation, because his longing for a woman plunged him into deep despair.‘Oh woman, why won’t you talk to me?’ asked Mustafa. ‘Is it the way I look? Is it my foreign name? Perhaps the color of my skin or the size of my waist? Or is it because I don’t have a home? Why so coy on this wintry day?’For Mustafa it was maddening to see so many women walking upon the snow, for he longed for each and every one of them, and yet his tongue would only yield an avoidance and shyness.His head pounded with each thought. His mind roamed and wandered as it found significance in every.
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