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However, we weren'tlike our friends. We had a little secret that caused us to uprootourselves from the community we had been born into and sever our tieswith our long time friends.My secret was not an uncommon one for male's of my disposition. It wassimply this. Since I was a young man, I've dressed as a woman. I don'tknow when the desire first rose up inside me, but I can't remember livingwithout it. I grew up jealous of the clothing that my female neighborsand classmates got to wear. They were fortunate enough to get to wearsuch pretty colorful dresses and blissful feeling tights, while I wasforced to walk around in drab dress pants and socks.Part of me wanted to be those girls, but that was not my greatestfantasy. I longed to be a woman, but not just any woman. I wanted to be adomestic like the kind that raised me while my mother was off enjoyingher wealth.I grew up surrounded by them and idolized them. When my mother wouldcatch me staring at them as a teen, she would scold me to. I'm stunned and can't get up as quickly as I'd like. The three of them surround me."Grab her!"I am on all fours, trying to get up again when I hear his order. A couple sets of hands are on me and viciously flip me onto my back; so hard that it knocks the wind out of my lungs and I hit my head on the floor. Lover is sitting on top of me with his knife out again. The other two are holding down each arm and one of them has his hand over my mouth. Without any hesitation Lover starts cutting and ripping through the front of my sweater!"Stay still unless you want me to cut your perfect, smooth skin."Tears are running down the side of my face as I lay still, allowing him to cut my sweater off of me. I feel completely helpless and weak. I'm actually helping them strip me by not being difficult. As he cuts, he turns to Scarface and tells him to turn off all but the back two lights. They wouldn't want the custodians to suspect anything is going on down here by seeing the lights shining out.
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