He deserves the two black eyes. I wish I had filed that divorce decree earlier!On the eight day of Christmas, My true love did not come home last night. When he did that morning I found the hotel receipt in his pocket, he probably spent the last eight hours with that damn floozy. When I confronted him he admitted to seeing her for the past seven month after all she did give him one hell of a blowjob. He then told me, that fucking me the other morning at six a.m. was a big mistake, I should know better than seduce him when he is not awake. He then went on to complain that I should not have maxed out all five credit cards. He also grumbled that I had the audacity to call him four naughty words; three he just knew were cuss words in French. He'd better get away from me or I might give him two more black eyes. After all, I am not a happy camper; that's while I filed the divorce decree!On the ninth day of Christmas, My true love told me he was going to a strip joint to see nine women. Sometimes more sometimes less, although I of course also have other reasons to not do it like I already said.” After a short pause he added: “Ok I am going to take truth as well.” I wasn't sure if I should ask the next question but did it anyway. “Did you ever have sex Daniel? I'd assume with your parents it be tough to bring home a girl.” He nodded again his eyes fixed on the ground. “Yes it is really hard. I am still a virgin.” That I did not find to be to much of a problem at that point I had also only slept with two girls. He however seemed to be rather unhappy with it. Not wanting him to get all sad again I interjected: “Don't worry. It will all happen eventually. I'll take dare this time.” He brightened up and got a mischievous smile on his face. “I dare you to show me your favourite position by dry humping the air.” Now it was my turn to laugh. I crawled up on the bed getting on my knees in a doggy-style position. On arm stretched out as if I was grabbing a girls hair the.
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