‘Our problem, right now, is sexual tension. We’re two relatively attractive people, alone in a sauna with no one else on the property, wearing, um . . . admittedly skimpy clothing.’ Ellen’s face felt like it would sear the cedar paneling. ‘Add to that the fact that James has obviously told you that I lay out in the nude–‘ She felt an uncharacteristic blaze of anger at her son for contributing to this. ‘–as well as probably regaling you with accounts of how he’s walked in on me naked, and well . . . I guess sexual tension is unavoidable.’ She was not the only one with a blistering red face, Ellen saw. Eddie looked on the verge of combustion. Clearing his throat, making a false start before he managed to push out the words, he mumbled, ‘You are not relatively attractive, Mrs. Feinman. You’re absolutely beautiful. Your body is perfect. You’re like an Egyptian goddess come to life. James is so lucky to have you for a mother. ‘ Ellen wanted to crawl under the bench. Her face had gone. ” I shut the car off and slipped on my sun glasses as the sun had just broken out of the clouds in full f***e. “Get your suit Larry, help us with the car,” Pat said as she picked up a soapy sponge and dribbled soap suds down her cubby legs. “She is the round one of the two,” I thought as I smiled. “No suit along for this trip,” I said with a big cheesy smile looking at the pair of them and wondering if they really were lesbians or not. “I gotta get my bag, back bedroom like always?” I said as I tripped the trunk lid and raised it up. I was shocked, no suitcase, “I swear I put it in the car,” I thought. “must be in the back seat, all my tools were in the trunk so perhaps I thought better of mixing clothes with tools.” I opened the back door, cooler full of beer, check, portable radio, check, suitcase, NO! “Shit,” I said aloud just as I felt cold water cascade over me. I turned, Lara had the hose aimed right at me and soaked me from head to foot. “Hey,” I growled, “what the hell is.
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