It is worse if he wraps his arms around me and holds me down. That just makes me keep screaming, louder and longer. I try to scratch or hit or push him away. I kick and buck and twist. But Thomas is strong, almost as strong as Dad. But Dad doesn’t hold me like that unless I am breaking things or hurting myself. Thomas can be mean.This morning my head was exploding with voices. That happens a lot. I don’t remember now what the voices were saying. It wouldn’t have mattered. I just couldn’t make them stop. I screamed to cover them up. I put my head down like a bull and charged. The top of my head crashed into the wall of my bedroom. The wall crumbled where I crashed into it. There was a top-of-my-head shaped hole on my side of the wall. If I’d run faster and harder I would have gone through the wall. Nothing could stop me. But my head hurt.Dad stopped me before I could try again. So I just screamed and screamed. My brother was talking too, maybe he was yelling at me. I don’t even know.. This is a big state and he could be anywhere. What do you want to do?’ ‘Like he knows…’ ‘Don’t have any idea…’ ‘I thought so, you poor bastard, but I don’t know, either.’ ‘Look, uh, Greg… why don’t you stay out wherever you all are for, let’s say, another three or four days. Call me back then and we’ll see what’s going on, how’s that?’ ‘Take the chance, Greg, boy, it won’t get any better than this…’ ‘All right… you’re watching my place, right? and Mrs. Shocley’s?’ ‘Damn well better…’ ‘Yes, we’ve got a patrol car out there about every half-hour.’ ‘Yeah, when we can.’ The next few days were spent having fun… a picnic at Golden Gate Park, a swim in the ocean, a drive across the Golden Gate, some museums and a climb to the top of Coit Tower. Cindy laughed… ‘Coit Tower, shaped like a giant penis… more like coitus tower!’ He bought them Popsicles and she licked hers, giving him a wink and promising something later. ‘You can come home, now. We found Origli.’ ‘Oh, yeah, how’d that happen?’.
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