I pulled my mouth off her toe and asked, “Was that ticklish, Terri?” “No, when you first put it in your mouth, I was so shocked that was just my first reaction. Please don’t stop,” she explained. I just smiled at her, raised her foot to my mouth and began sucking on her big toe again. I sucked on it much the way I might give oral sex to a man, moving the toe in and out and running my tongue all over it. I lodged the toe in my cheek and let my tongue slip out of my mouth so that I could lick that soft spot between her toes. This got an immediate response from Terri as she moved her other leg away from the one I had, spreading herself open to my gaze. I continued licking between her toes and underneath the big toe and Terri continued to moan the entire time. She was obviously enjoying it, but I could tell I was not getting her close to an orgasm, so I moved on and began to kiss my way up her leg. Her leg was completely slack in my hand and she let me move it however I wanted. Her other. It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will also admit that it worked unfortunately. Like any other addiction, soon your normal ‘fix’ isn’t enough. You have to cut more or sometimes find something else to hurt yourself with to feel the same effects. It’s completely fucked up. I’m lucky in that I didn’t actually get that far. I did stop before it got too serious. I mean, I am aware that hurting yourself in the first place regardless of how or where you do it is a serious issue but I stopped before it got completely unbearable or too difficult to stop it. Supposedly one in four people will at some stage in their lives use self-harm as a coping mechanism. You would think that would make someone feel a little less isolated but it’s funny, I’ve never felt so alone in my life that when I was cutting. It’s a very strange thing in that sense. It’s very common, yet nobody talks about it. I can completely understand why people don’t talk about.
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