I turned my face slowly away and opened my eyes. Around the room lay remnants of my life, things that had meant something to me once, things that lay as dead and lifeless as I felt. My flute lay on the floor, sheet music scattered all around. The memories haunted me. Images of my playing, my total surrender to the power of the notes and the melody brought a fresh rush of tears to my eyes. I had spent many years practicing and perfecting the talent of musician. There was a freedom of expression that had caught me and pulled me in. So many thoughts and feelings were spelled out in little black dots with lines and squiggles. Sad that I was going to let it all disappear into nothingness. My books lay in the opposite corner, near the shattered glass of the wine bottle. Dozens of stacks of books…novels, short stories, reference books, journals. I had loved to read. The stories on pages that took me to far off places and filled my mind with dreams and fantasies had been as much a part of me. " Alright, well, let's get down to it. I would like you to tell me how youfeel about the possibility of turning."Danny shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm not as freaked out orafraid about it as some guys would be," he stated. "I mean, nobody wantsto turn, not unless their transgendered. But it is still a littledaunting to know that it could happen." Do you have any family members who have turned?" I have a cousin that turned a couple years ago." Did she have any advice to give you?" She and I don't really talk much, actually," said Danny. "She lives in asmall town in Idaho, so she has to deal with a lot of other differentstuff. People up there still treat the turned as if they were a bunch ofdiseased people." I'm sorry. That has to be tough for her." Last time I talked to her was about a year ago, and she told me a littlebit about what she went through, but not much." Of course, you are enrolled in gender health. It's a requirement for allboys in the Bru Zone. It teaches you.
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