The tourists had returned to their hotels for supper and the office workers only wanted to catch the underground back to the suburbs.We had arrived at the edge of a small tree-shaded ornamental lake at the bottom of the park. Geese and ducks were the only other visitors. “If I strip off, will you come and watch me do my pee-pee into the water?” She gave a girlish giggle. “I think it will be almost pure champagne! You could even drink it.” I had first introduced this woman to the delights of watersports when we holidayed together in the Caribbean.“Naked?”“But of course, dummkopf!” The talons almost punctured the palms of my hand. “Then afterwards – when you will spend the night with me in my apartment – you must first put cuffs on me and then spank my naked bottom. You are quite the best spanker I’ve ever known! Heinrich was far too rough.” So I was ‘booked’ to spend the night in Carlotta’s duplex, doubtless to be harnessed to her sexual treadmill. For how long?She began to undress,. Because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?9. Scratch a cat ... and you will have a permanent job.10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.15. Be careful about reading the fine print ... there's no way you're going to like it.16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in.
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