She also told him, that she hated crying over any man or situation. “I hate it and wished I had not met this guy, or fallen in love at all!" "I know baby. You are a very loving, sensitive, and caring person. In addition, I bet that right now, you feel the pain is more than you can bear. Just think for a moment, if you did not open up your heart to love again, the pain from the past could not have been let go." You know, I never thought of it that way. Thanks for listening. I think I will try to go to bed again, good-morning." Ditto, love yahs. Take care.”She was about to log off, when she decided to write Douglas an email. Maybe, if she put her thoughts down in writing, he would think again, and not push her away. “My Blue-eyed devil, How can I tell you what is on my heart, without hurting and crying? A part of me wants to get to know you and fall deeper in love with the other side of you (the one I do not see in bed). I want to scream, “Why not? ” Then I rationalize things and tell. You kiss. John pulls back and says …” Then John said, “Oh, I missed you so much, you were all I ever thought about.” The next day we worked the stage holding the script as we ran through the parts. Every night Titan would ask me what happened during the day and of course I told him. We had Act 1 down pat in four days and we began Act 2. Act 2 had the first nude scene and simulated sex act. The first day of Act 2 practice we read and I told Titan that night that we were going to do our first run-through with script the next day. He called in and took a sick day to come in with me. We did the reading and when it came to the part where we were to be on the bed, Sandra asked me if I had ever simulated sex before in a play. I told her no and that in high school we could not have any sex scenes. She said, “OK, tell you what. Let’s put down the scripts and I’ll show you how it is done under the covers. We want the audience to believe it is happening, yet we all know this is acting. Why.
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