I know they don’t give a damn that I’m married. We’re not talking about love, honey, just lust like I had with them before I met you. Did it stop me from being in love with you? Not at all even though I was seeing some of them when we first started dating. I was a good girl, you know, and didn’t let them get inside me even after you took my virginity. I have some honor, don’t forget.”“Shit, we’ve run out of time. I’ll talk to you in a few days so be thinking about what I said.”[a few days later on the satellite phone]“Have you thought about what I said?”“Hey, don’t be so difficult. I had dinner with an old boyfriend last night. No, I didn’t fuck him but I sure wanted to. We did get each other off like we used to though. You know, those ways you thought were so sexy when we talked about them on our honeymoon. Hey, how are you dealing with our separation?”“Are you sure there isn’t more? One of the guys on the alternative shift has been hitting on me and says there are always women out. . I... I don't know! I don't know why I... I..."She couldn't think. She was overcome by confusing, conflicting emotions."You'll never be happy, Gretchen, until you embrace your true self," the councilor advised. "You must admit your needs if you're ever going to fulfill them."Gretchen nodded as much as she could in the head restraint. It was true. She was so confused and she didn't want to be. She wanted to be happy. And Mr. Warren seemed to know how to help her."So let's try a little exercise," Mr., Warren suggested. "Let's just have you say out loud what you want. Just admitting it out loud can be very therapeutic. Now, repeat after me: I want to be the center of attention." I want to be the center of attention," Gretchen admitted, and a wave of relief washed over her, causing a brief respite from the confusion."Good" Warren praised, and the praise felt so nice. "Now say 'I want everyone to look at me."Gretchen wasn't sure about this, but it felt so right admitting she wanted.
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