"I stood up and I remember it was the bathtub incident all over again: I deliberately went out of my way to expose myself fully to my mother. We had kept the patio lights off, but there was enough lightfiltering out through the sliding glass door for me to be splashed bythe orange glow of the lamplight from within the house. I wasbeginning to realize that there is casual nudity and there is eroticexposure and exhibitionism. The two aren't the same. You can be nudebut not exposing yourself. I say this because I don't think I was somuch exposed to my mother when we were both sitting side by side, butwhat I did next -- and some of the things I did later on -- moved mefrom being nude to the realm of being exposed and playing theexhibitionist. My mother was still sitting down and I stood right infront of her, with my crotch at her face level, just inches away fromher eyes. Only then did I ask if she wanted a lemonade re-fill. Sheaccepted and thanked me. When I returned with the. It was plenty far enough to make her toothsome. Her face was young again, but the expressions that flickered across it were pure Nana; she knew when she got out of the tube that she wasn't going to have any trouble finding my bed, damn her, and it showed on her face...The afternoon had been a series of uncomfortable interviews. "Is this true or not? Can you do this to me?" "Well, yes, in extreme cases..." "So I'm just supposed to roll the dice? This is any time after a sponsor takes me on, right?" "Would YOU do that to another man? You would? You're kidding, right?" I found it amazing how many men stopped to think -- hard -- about that last question. They would stand there and tell you how godawful the rules were -- and then when you asked them if THEY would apply them if THEY were in charge, they'd get all quiet and thoughtful -- and, in many cases, embarrassed. It seemed that it was more about who was on top than the rules for those on the bottom; the rules were okay, as long as.
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