I wish to come home to a house full of our memories together, the hardships we overcame to be together and all the delights that followed. I dream of Christmas mornings and hearing our children run into the living room to see if Santa had come. I dream of a daughter and a son playing outside with him, chasing them through the garden and playing hide and seek. I long to lay on his chest at the end of the day just to hear his heart beating and find that the rhythm of my own beat is synchronised with his. I want to wake up every morning next to him and breathe in his scent as I hug myself against his back, to wake him with soft kisses on his shoulder and up his neck before making him mine in the most intimate of ways. Thinking of taking him roughly, passionately and in every other way in between has become one of my guilty pleasures. To give him a kind of pleasure that no one else can. I found my hand straying as I laid in bed thinking of exactly that. I couldn't make myself stop as my. She focused on the display and saw the familiar channel that was exclusive to Rhino subscribers fill the screen. It was their ‘adult’ channel and Oskar made no apologies to her for the disturbance. Had she queried the reason he would have told her he was ‘working’ and checking what new content had been added over the past week by the technicians in the service centre when he had been out of town. The stream of short videos began to run and Simone felt excitement grow as she witnessed a procession of Black men; white women; threesomes; gangbangs; masturbating Lesbians; Cumshots and every other combination of sexual activities that she come to enjoy viewing. To the background of the quiet hum of the TV and the frequent soundtrack of orgasming couples she resumed giving Oskar oral attention as she gently masturbated herself. Once again she had entered that trance-like state and she had no recognition that many of the white women who featured in the explicit and sexually stimulating.
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