I had endured a lot of grief because of my sister during our high school years.Karla craved love, physical affection and acceptance. But as an overweight girl in high school, she got derision, a collection of friends in the same boat as she, and hoards of dates where the guy refused to be seen in public with her, but would let her blow him.And after each disastrous night out, I would find myself with the unenviable task of comforting her, trying to help her put her psyche back into some kind of functional shape, mouthing words about her physical attractiveness that I didn't believe at the time.And while I felt I had the right to say negative things about her physical appearance, although I never did, I was, by God, the only one allowed to. So, teenage males being the way they are, I got in a lot of fights. I racked up a lot of visits to the principal. The only saving grace was that Mother was on my side. I could tell her I took offense at comments someone made about Karla and she'd. " My mind jerked back to where I was and I looked up the waitress. "Huuhh, Gordon? What?" It hit me, I was wearing my kilt, but how had she known the clan? I had been sitting with my head hanging, feeling sorry for myself. My wife and I had eaten at Applebee's many times. We would go every week or two; she would have a steak, and I would get the Oriental Chicken Salad with extra dressing. Always the same for me but she changed some times. She always gave me a ration about being "stuck in the mud" and not wanting to try new things. I would say, "I've tried it before and know what I want," and we would banter back and forth about it for a while. I miss that banter so much some times I don't even want to go on. I've thought about that a lot recently, and sometimes I get so wound up it feels like I'll explode from the pressure. it rips pieces of me off and I scream at myself, "Why didn't you just fuckin' try it?" Then I cry a bit. That night was no different. My wife, Paige, wasn't with.
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