It’s not his fault. But I feel now defiled; not by his stealthy little fuck in the morning but by his feeling guilty, by his conviction that sex is dirty and that I am unclean, soiled by sex and soiling him.”Helen told me the above only late in the year, with our parting drawing day by day closer. I was sorry that our so wonderful, sexually so fulfilled and rewarding affair would end. I was relieved that Erika had suspected nothing. I also believed that my affair with Helen had not changed our marital relationship for the worse. I had no wish to confess my trespass and inflict hurt.However, listening to Helen’s description of her marriage made me feel very uneasy about its future.At first, I had not taken Helen’s claim that Rilke’s Der Panther and my reading and suggestive interpretation had led her into our affair as fully serious. I had tried to explain in class, in general terms, how Rilke’s poetry transforms the cage from a passive means of housing the animal into an active force. " He hung up on me.I was grinning when Jan asked, "Do you always talk to your superiors like that?" Depends on whether they're worth talking to. You'll like John. I've never met his wife, but I'll bet she's a treat. Let's work on these presentations a little more and get them perfect. We have to make sure they have a projector too. We need to write a script in case we get tongue tied."We had the hotel get an executive suite ready for John and his wife, then begged a limo to go get him. The owner/manager said, "Do want some of that money back? Christ, you gave more than twice what we agreed on." It's yours. Tip your staff so they know the guys that are here are worth taking care of. Make sure the women are taken care of. Make sure everyone has a good time. Feed us good, give them lots to drink, slip all the women some Spanish fly so those guys will get some and we're even. Oh yeah, we need a good projector in the meeting room that I can hookup to my laptop. We need one of those viewers.
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