‘Why are you shaking,’ she asked. ‘Nervous,’ I said between mouthfuls. ‘I’m afraid I’ll do something wrong and you’ll tell me to stop.’ She wrapped her arms around my back and squeezed me tightly. I continued sucking on her breasts and massaging her body with my hands. She began rocking her pelvis against mine, and my hard on was getting quite stimulated with the rubbing. After a few minutes, I started kissing downward from her breasts. Across her rib cage, down her stomach, lined with pretty stretch marks from her babies, to the top of her shorts. Now was the moment of truth…would she let me? I found the catch to her pants and loosened it. She raised her buttocks slightly and I started peeling them off, panties and all. Her pubic region slid into sight. Then, a little further down, the V of her vulva. I was looking at Simone’s vagina! I slid the pants off while caressing her bum, thighs and legs, all the while anxious to get back up to that treasure spot. But I lingered on her long. .. Just not feeling good, I don't know what, but I'm not up to sex right now." For the tenth time in the last month, Rebecca turned me down when I snuggled up to her. We hadn't discussed her lack of sex drive, beyond the fact that she didn't have one, and attempts to talk about it led nowhere.Rebecca started to feel less interested in her life shortly after Millicent was born. For a long time I suspected it was jealousy after her insisting we include Winnie in our bed, but apparently that was not it, because Rebecca would play with Winnie and Collen off and on. Recently, however, she's been passing on joining them.If it was chemical I wanted to get to the bottom of it. If her problem was medical, I wanted to find out how, why, and what to do about it. Rebecca wanted to let it slide for a while and see if it went away on its own. I was afraid she would opt to go away, instead of getting her problem to go away. Lots of relationships fail to survive the stresses of childbirth, and we had.
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