"Don't touch me! Nobody touch me! Leave me alone!" I sensed the others were startled and that they began moving away cautiously. All but Stepper. He was still crouched near me, his hand on my back. "Speedy, please tell me you okay," he sobbed. I was up on my knees now, and settled back on my haunches. I nodded. "It's okay, Stepper. I'm bleedin, I guess, but I'm all here." "This my fault, man." "To hell with that," I breathed. "I don't wanna hear that." He sobbed, "He got you in the face, man, and kicked you good.He didn't have to do that." "Well," I said angrily, "he didn't have to, but he sure did, didn't he?" I tried to laugh. My left side burned. I leaned forward on my hands and let the blood drip from my face. I hissed, "I'll kill the son of a bitch. I'll kill 'im." "No, Speedy, you take it easy. We gotta find somebody to help you. We gotta find somebody." "No. Stop it," I gruffed in a dull monotone. I felt something wildly irrational sweeping through me, starting in my gut and. With every step he took, my rage and hurt began to build. I quickly retreated to his tiny bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I stared at myself in the mirror. “You stupid slut,” I muttered to myself, “You got what you deserved.” The tears began to fall. I flushed the toilet to cover the noise of my sobs. Splashing cold water on my face, I tried to regain composure and formulate the lie. The lie that he had not hurt my feelings, the lie that he could not hurt my feelings, and the biggest lie of them all, that I did not love him and what had occurred was merely sex, nothing more. I rounded up my purse and car keys, preparing to leave. There was polite conversation between us as he walked me to the door. There was a hug and a peck as he ushered me to my car. I watched him through my rear view mirror as he mounted the steps of his porch and retreated to the safety of his dwelling. In the quiet of the night, I heard the lock in its tumbler as he shut out the dark. I eased the car.
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