. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.Funny, I don’t remember being absent-mindedFunny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the tree.I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.Kids in the back seat cause accidents.Accidents in the back seat cause kids.It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.The world only beats a path to your door when. Now that your sister only likes to bottle feed I have to get rid of my milk. And my pump is broken, so will you please help me look!” she yelled, with a hint of irritation in her voice.“Ok” Jason replied.They spent the next half an hour turning the house upside down, but the best they could find was an empty packet.“I always knew he was a useless bastard” she moaned, frustration etched all over her face. “Oh well, I’ll just have to hold on until morning and get some from the store.”That night, Jason woke at around three in the morning. Stumbling out of bed, he tiptoed to the bathroom to take a piss. As he passed his mother’s bedroom, the door was ajar and he could hear what sounded like sobbing, tinged with groaning.“Mom? Are you ok?” he called.“Yes!” she snapped, “go back to bed”Jason went for a piss and went back to bed. But he couldn’t sleep with wondering about what had upset his mother. After about twenty minutes, he had made up his mind to go and check on her when he heard an.
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