She was concerned that if my old girlfriend showed up I would dump her. She believed it would be in my best interest if I saw her again and went out of her way to arrange it. As I look back now I understand her apprehension. Our first date we spent several hours walking and talking, I apologized for the horrible thing I did to her and nearly to our child. I begged her forgiveness. She, in turn, explained why we could never be together again. She placed our child for adoption because she knew I would be relentless in my pursuit of them. She feared what that might mean for our daughter if her defenses weakened, if only for a moment. To get back together now, after the sacrifices she had to make, would be to admit she was wrong. That would mean her sacrifice was in vain. We cried together for our lost child. We cried for the loss of innocence. I comforted her, saying it was entirely my fault. She had done what any loving mother would do and put the safety of her child before her own. She had mixed feelings about it. Although it would be handy tobe able to fit in with the "other" men more easily, the thought ofsounding like a country bumpkin felt ridiculous.Just imagine talking like that all the time!3When she reached Griply village Ann found it profoundly odd to walkaround, passing by the ordinary folk. Every other time she'd been in thevillage, every passerby had stopped to look, nodding in deference,leaving no doubt in anybody's mind that she was superior to all of them.Now, nobody turned their head in her direction.She was just a nobody - one of the common people - not noteworthy in theleast. In fact, she noticed that if anything she was even slightlyavoided! Mrs Landon, the vicar's wife wrinkled her nose in disgust whenshe saw Ann approaching and crossed over the road, studiously pretendingshe wasn't there. It left Ann feeling annoyed and just slightly... ashamed?She was angry to be treated that way but she also felt bad to be lookeddown on at the same.
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