Then the newest and youngest assistant cautiously approaches. She is carrying a few extra pounds and showing a large amount of bosom. “Mr Johnson would you dance with me. Please?” She is a redhead, squeezed in to a little white dress. Nipples clearly pointing her way and the dress stopping 4 inches above her knee. Thought to myself ‘she had better be careful bending over’ she has no panty lines showing. I guess she is the same age as my gr---daughter or a year younger.“No. Please leave me…….” I replied.“Mr Johnson. Please. The other secretaries have had a bet” the young girl informs me. As I’m about to make another fool of myself my PA touches my arm. Looking at her beautiful (the PA’s) face she says, “A least hear Joanna out.” My PA then provocatively walks across the dance floor. Eventually tearing my eyes from my PA’s stunning ass I see Joanna’s innocent face.“Well?” I offer.She hesitantly starts, “They, the secretaries, have all tried to get you to dance and you rudely sent them. That's one reason I'vepicked the wardrobe I have, so I dont get people staring at me.This isnt about making people feel sorry for me.Anyone who knows my story knows I've had a few bad things happen to me.But I know others with lives that make mine look like a walk through thepark. I've been pitied, while it can feel good to have someone empathizewith me, a person gets tired of being the object of pity pretty fast.I've thought more than once that I know people are judged by how theytreat "the least of these", but I would be just as happy if "the least ofthese" was somebody other than me. Frankly, I would like to be worth morethan just pity.This isnt about my rape, or "hating" being a guy.Look, my memory of those years is beyond hazy, but some things I canrecall, especially now that I've started working on recovering from myassault. And my best recollection indicates that I blamed my wanting to befemale for my rape. In fact my memory suggests that my rapist used thatdesire as a means.
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