I had convinced myself that I was unhappy with farming more than anything. In truth I didn’t like it much but that was not the real reason I wanted to be Mr. Osterant’s assistant. His trips to London were the real draw, the fact that he left town on a regular basis intrigued me more. I wanted to leave more than I wanted to be a merchant’s apprentice. It was at that point that I realized that if I wanted to leave and go to London, I could do that myself. For the first time in my life I realized that I was a free man, if I wanted to go to the city than I could do just that. I thought nothing of the long journey, the food needed, clothing, shelter or any other of the necessities. All I thought of was the simple fact that the only thing standing between London and me was the distance. At the time it seemed a simple matter to overcome, a simple jaunt down the road if you will. ‘No father.’ I said respectfully. ‘Don’t answer now, give it a few days with me, I’ll learn you up fine.’ My. She remembered a fearful suitor standing in front of a window, fumbling his way through a rehearsed speech, family, honour and mutual esteem. Long, pale fingers clutching an unscratched walking stick. Listening hard, trying not to think about how a halo of spring sunshine revealed a thinning patch in fine blonde hair. Or how much she wanted to be breathing in a familiar scent of mingled leather and bay rum soap instead of Roger’s flowery cologne. Far from insensible to the compliment that was being paid to her, Sophie had sipped tea and grown more sad with every timid word. After Stephens had bowed a confused Roger from the room, Sophie had sat alone in the darkening parlour. When night began to draw in, one of the braver maids tried to creep in to lay a fire in the cold hearth, only to be ordered sharply out. It was deep in that shadow-soaked vigil when Sophie had first understood the bittersweet truth. Her soul was not her own but Cole’s. And Cole was married. She had wept until.
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