The traumatic thing about it for me was not that he had made me his lover; but that he had betrayed me by have sex with other young girls at the same time as he was fucking me. I thought I was in love with him and he with me. I never considered it rape because I wanted him to do what he did to me and I liked it.What he did was to make me ashamed of myself and unable to trust men. So I have never been out with a boy since then and I have had regular counselling from your mum. She has helped me more than the psychiatrist whom I saw for ages after these events became public." Susan I feel sad about what happened to you, but why are you telling me this?"Because today you stood up to bullies for me and in doing so you nearly put your life on the line. This proved to be the last piece in the jigsaw of my rehabilitation progress. You could easily have died today if the teachers had not arrived when they did as these boys were not going to stop putting the boot in anytime soon, I think that. It's always Jana. Well, except for losing my virginity. And she helped me do it.It happened when my cousin, Donnie, fourteen, the same age as my sister, was over at our house one afternoon. Donnie was cute, about five-seven, medium build, wavy dark blond hair, nice smile and our mothers were in the kitchen chatting over coffee as they usually did.Jana wasn't home at the time so it was Donnie and me in the den and I could tell that he was trying to look up my skirt when I moved my legs as I sat across from him. I was twelve, just becoming a bit of a tease, just starting to know the power my female body had over boys, so I just looked over at him and widened my legs.Oh, the predicted wide-eyed stare took place so I opened my stance a bit more. It was no secret what I was doing and he motioned to me to raise my dress up a bit.I shook my head, no, and motioned to the kitchen where our moms were. He pointed to the hallway and my bedroom and raised his eyebrows like he was asking.I nodded.
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