He’d taken up the habit in college, but had quit nearly 10 years earlier. Whatever had caused it was irrelevant. It was a problem that had to be dealt with, and Ricky didn’t look back for a second once the decision was made to have surgery. I’ll be honest, though, we were scared. Up to that point, our lives had been a fairy tale, and now suddenly we were confronted with a mortal crisis that could take my Ricky away from me. I’ve never felt more alone in my life — notwithstanding all of the family, friends and clergy that were surrounding me — than in that moment when they wheeled him into the operating room. I was absolutely lost, and that’s when I finally cracked. I just buried my face in my father-in-law’s shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably. Now, as I sat by Ricky’s bedside, I thought back over the 27 years of our marriage, plus the three years of courtship before that, and the life we’d made together. ^ ^ ^ ^ You would be hard-pressed to find two people from more diverse. I swung my legs out of bed and sat for a while, then with Amy's help Istood up, bloody hell I thought this feels strange, my larger hips andbum combined with my new boobs really threw me off balance.After a while I figured out my new centre of gravity so to speak andwalked around the room.Amy said, "I've brought you some PJ's and a wrap if you want to get ridof that horrible hospital gown."Did I, I sure did, so eagerly I shrugged the gown off and slipped into apair of matte satin pyjama bottoms. Amy looked with interest at mybandaged boobs as I buttoned up the top, it really felt nice the softfluid satin against my skin, I picked up the midnight blue floral Kimonowrap and slipped that on, I really felt comfortable.We sat together and I powered up Nicky's i-pad, logging in and the two ofus carried on a conversation, well Amy talked and I wrote, but you getthe idea.Amy showed me the files on my new job, the files on my old job, the fileswhere she had scanned my diaries in for me to.
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